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NICE GOODBYEIn the day, when I will dying, I will text you nice goodbye:
'Neither miss me nor forget me. I am sorry and bye-bye.'
I'm not sorry. I would lied then.Does that matter now? Who knows.
But there still is some thing hidden that I think that I should show.
Look at skin, owned to my body for these some decades and years.
Do you see here something wrong? Do you see? Say 'no' or 'yes'.
Yes. It's scars, which I've been hiding. Do you know the reason why?
Will you understand my feelings? Well, at least, though make a try.
There were things, which then had hurt me, which I couldn't stand at all.
All alone, in crowded world, I had nobody to call.
I'd been hurting. I'd been losing all myself in all that dark,
Which does eat me up as a whitebait always swallowed by a shark.
Yes, I drown. Underwater something pulls me to the seabed.
I can't breathe, and eyes is closed. But in fact I'm in my bed.
I'd been hurting. I'd been losing all myself inside my head.
There are too thoughts spin around that I wish that I were dead.
But I found the way to make it easier to endure — to cut.
That's insane, I know. You're angry. Yes, I do, I get that, but...
Do you remember what I told you? 'At least, though try to understand.'
But you're not trying. I can see that. That's the reason why I had
Hidden the scars inside myself to nobody see them ever.
That's no good. I hadn't better.
But at least I was not scolded, as it earlier had been.
Yes, it's wrong. Of course, I get that. Do YOU get what does THAT mean?
Not all of them are on my skin. On it the smallest, pitiest part.
How much of them INSIDE of me? How much of them are on my heart?
In the day, when I will dying, I will text you nice goodbye:
'Neither miss me nor forget me. Be more careful. Bye-bye'.
15.03.2021
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